My Life Didn’t Turn Out the Way I Planned

Now we’re here… A little more background about me. From a young age I’ve always been determined in life. I wasn’t clear on the direction of my life but a few things were certain. I would not tolerate working for someone else, I wanted to move out of Indiana and head south (preferably Florida) and I would be married “young” like my parents. Being 54 days shy of 29 I can tell you one of those things actually happened, another happened briefly and one didn’t happen at all.

(Throw back to my young high school self on the left)

I was a pretty great kid, decent student and BOY CRAZY. If there was a class on finding your high school sweetheart or future husband I can almost promise you I would have signed up to take it. There wasn’t.. so I didn’t. From age 19 (the ripe age I had hoped to be happily married by like my parents) until I turned 21 I had taken a 2 year hiatus from having a boyfriend and thought maybe if I just focus on me and got over the devastation of still being single Mr. Right would find me… Wrong again.

(My friends have always been pretty supportive even through bad relationship choices I made)

Out of a series of unhealthy relationships that followed that hiatus (maybe I’ll elaborate later) and a long journey of personal and spiritual growth, I am finally at a place in my life where I now understand why me taking matters in my own hands never worked out. It wasn’t until I was in a situation I wanted so desperately to work that I realized there was nothing I could do to change it or make it better but I had to stop trying to control the situation and give control to the one person who could handle anything my tiny little mind and heart couldn’t handle. So I began praying. Consistently and continuously. The funny thing about prayer is sometimes the answers you get or lack of isn’t exactly what you had planned.

Fast forward to June 2017. June was a pretty big month for me. I was at my breaking point. I was desperate for a change or an answer.. SOMETHING because for the last year my life had felt like it was on hold. It wasn’t but I was just going through the motions with lack of emotion.. and if you know me you knew something wasn’t quite right. I decided I needed to show God how serious truly was at needing an answer to this simple question I had been praying for what felt like my whole life. Mid June I decided to do a 3 day fast and pray. On June 26th during a missions week with my dear friend’s youth group I received the answer to my prayer during worship…

It was not the answer I had been praying for… The answer I was given and the vision instantly that came over me looked nothing like my current life. The girl I saw laughing in the front passenger seat… well, I recognized her but it had been a while since I had seen her. The man driving.. I knew him well but never had actually met him. The joy in our hearts, passion in our eyes, the traveling and mission work we were doing. This was something 1. I could have never imagined on my own even in my wildest dreams and 2. Deep down that was the life I had longed for but had let that dream go along time ago and kind of forgot about it. I had two options… First option: listen to what I heard and obey even though it meant uprooting my life again and moving back home at 28 years old WITH MY PARENTS and starting from scratch or Second option: I could chalk it up to me being crazy go through the same motions that had been my life the for the last year and keep praying since I didn’t get the answer I thought I wanted.

(This book changed my prayer life so much: Draw the Circle: the 40 day prayer Challenge by Mark Batterson)

This is where my life turned upside-down and in the best way possible. Over the course of that next month things lined up for my move back home in ways I never imagined. Financially I should have been freaking out! The strength of my faith was and is so strong I had a huge sense of peace about everything. This is where the best part of my story begins and incase you were wondering about the small riddle above… I started working for myself when I was 20 years old. I moved out of Indiana for a year and I have never been married.

I cannot wait to see where my life is headed but I can promise you it’ll be better than anything I could imagine. Life is better when you’re not trying to control every situation that comes your way. It’s nice to sit back and let God be in control. If you’re at a place in your life where you feel stuck I encourage you to dive a bit deeper into your faith. Take your relationship with God a bit further. Trust him more and listen to what he has to say. I bet you’ll be surprised at the way things start falling into place too! If you have questions or not sure where to start please reach out. I’d love to help you.

I hope you continue to join me on this journey called life. I can’t wait to share all my adventures with you. From free vacations, thrifty traveling, fun adventures, dive food finds and occasional deep thoughts. I can assure you theres never a dull moment in my life now.

xo Kylie


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