You Prayed For This

Yup. That’s right. The season of life I’m currently in is the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through. I’ve found myself asking why? Why is this happening to me? Constantly comparing my life with my peers and it hits me… I recalled praying for this.

This is going to sound incredibly selfish and stupid but I’m here to be transparent with you in hopes it may help you with whatever you’re going through. I’m sure you’ve read or heard or know someone with a success story of how they were at rock bottom and they pulled themselves out and things are better than ever. Well over the last year and a half things felt pretty stagnant for me. Life wasn’t great but it wasn’t bad either. I was fortunate that it had never seemed to be more than I could handle. I recall thinking one day, “man if I was truly at a rock bottom I’d have a better success story.” Instantly a battle in my brain was like “what did you just say?! Are you nuts?!” Yes. Yes I was nuts. However, I feel the season I’m in is all for a purpose. I don’t believe it’s for a success story to selfishly “better my business” but I know I’m going through the season I’m in to better shape me for the person I need to become.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve come along way from the young to mid 20s girl I use to be. But I’m still not entirely who I need to be to fulfill my purpose in life. I’m sure I will continue to always be a work in progress and I’m ok with that. I never want to stop learning or growing or helping others. I’ll be the first to tell you this season I’m in has not been one big valley. I’ve had a pretty incredible peak before heading back down to the trenches. Once again it’s something I unknowingly prayed for. Ever since my “big life change” no matter how sure or secure I thought I was I have continued to pray for God’s Will and direction and to always keep Him number one in my life and relationships. I got a gentle reminder recently when things felt like they went south. I recalled praying for patience and having others pray for patience for me. While I had one thing in mind when I requested those prayers God had another. I remember one other time a long time ago I had prayed for patience during a rough patch and my momma told me don’t you ever pray for that unless you’re willing to endure a trial or test. Yet here I am again and prayed those magic words. Old habits die hard I suppose.

Sometimes I think God needs to give us little reminders about why we are here. To fulfill His purpose not our own agenda. I know when I sent those prayers up I gave Him full permission to run my life. The funny thing is He might give you a peek of your future and though the path looks easy to get there He reminds you or me in this case that it’s not called the straight and easy path. If it was so easy we wouldn’t have to be dependent on Him. Coming from miss independent over here I have never felt more dependent in my life! As much as it sucks I know it’s all for a reason. When I find myself angry about it I remember somehow someway through the prayers I’ve prayed this is something I have to go through to get where I need to be. I just need to remember to give praise for why I’m here.

Do you feel like life is stagnant right now? Are there some prayers you need to pray but have been holding back for fear of where they might take you? I want you to know it’s ok to open your heart and pray those prayers. It might not be the easiest path but God has a big plan for your life and is just waiting for permission to bring you where you need to be. As always I’m an open book. If you need to talk or just need some prayers drop a comment or send me an email. I promise you won’t regret it!

xo Kylie

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