You know the saying. An arrow can only be shot by being pulled backwards. Last night I finally had my “arrow” moment. It wasn’t that last night I was pulled backwards. Last night I was finally released. The last few years of my life had seemed pretty stagnant like I’ve said in previous post. Then I got a push forward over the summer. Kind of. I got pushed out of my comfort zones and tried new activities but was still very much safe, so I thought. I felt safe too. Which isn’t a feeling I had ever been use to. It wasn’t until 6-8 weeks ago or so I had been “pulled back” again. Only this time I had no idea the draw weight would be so heavy.
These last few months I’ve felt confused. Left in a fog of uncertainty and wondering how everything seemed so off course. Racking my brain. Then it hit me. I know God doesn’t make mistakes. However, people do. People are good at smoke and mirrors. Some better than your tiny mind (or in this case my mind) could imagine. Well the smoke finally settled and my aim has never been more clear. I’m so thankful for the clarity. Disappointed I fell for the magic tricks but hey, when there’s a good magician in town he can fool everyone.
They always say this is the setback before the comeback, or this is preparing you for something bigger and better. In the moment of confusion and feeling defeated you want to believe this but your heart has a hard time of letting the mind convince it. I know I was there. I knew something incredible was planned for me but the odds seemed stacked against me. So much that even getting up in the mornings was challenging. Not because it’s morning but because my dreams when I was sleeping were better than real life. There were only a few things that motivated me to get up and pull through another day.
Every week I get more answers to the questions I ask God. We are such an instant gratification society that playing the waiting game has felt like an eternity. I know He has a plan and as much as I want everything to fall together right now I know that’s not the timing He has scheduled. His timing is better than mine.. clearly since now I’m usually late everywhere (insert facepalm). So even though I still have no idea the story He’s writing and who’s story will intersect and intertwine with mine, I do know I’m being launched into a pretty awesome chapter.
This. Is. My. Year. I touched briefly on some personal goals in my birthday blog. Not only have I but I will be checking more major things off my list this coming year. From volunteering, running races, running a half marathon, getting internationally scuba certified, going on a mission trip and a few more vacations to list a few. This isn’t just to mark things off a list. It’s also to grow me more as a person and become the person my future husband needs me to be so we can have a super awesome adventure together also known as life.
How heavy is your draw weight? If you haven’t been propelled into something awesome it may just be your draw weight hasn’t been heavy enough. As much as I wouldn’t wish this last month on anyone I can hands down say this trial I’m going through was and is worth it! So so so worth it! Keep your aim high and pull close to the one who made you. He will talk to you and answer if you just ask and listen.